The biggest reason we don’t quit doing something we wish we could is fear! If you think you’re addicted to porn and have failed to take action it’s probably because you are afraid.
It’s healthy to admit that you are afraid, worried or anxious. To do so requires strength. If you need support, talk to someone you can trust. When you express your worries and anxieties, they lose their power.
We are all afraid of something. You aren’t alone! We are afraid of changing and afraid of what will happen if we don’t change. We are afraid we will hurt someone or someone will hurt us. We are afraid of losing control and of being too controlling. We fear bad things will happen and good things won’t. We are afraid of who we are and who we could be. These are universal fears. Everyone has them.
If you’re addicted to porn you probably also fear attending 12-Step groups and talking in front of others. If you’re a porn addict you may fear having to talk to a therapist, minister or your partner about your addiction.
One of the biggest fears a porn addict has is getting close to others! It’s easy to sit in front of a computer and meet your sexual needs but a relationship means expressing feelings, becoming vulnerable and getting close. There is no where to hide in real face-to-face relationships.
There is never a perfect time to kick porn. You will never get rid of fear. You have two choices. You can continue to obsess about kicking porn allowing your fear to stop you or you can take action and starve your fear with prayer, trust and courage.
Infinite Possibilities
Think of your future filled with infinite possibilities! Doesn’t that sound better than a future filled with more porn, shame and guilt?
When you consider yourself and your life, don’t think about what you are not, thing about what you are. You’re not your past. You are unlimited potential waiting to happen.
Your future is in your hands. You are important and you are worthy. You deserve real relationships, with real people…connection, love, fun, companionship and everything else you can imagine. What if you spent the time you put into porn into the people around you and the people you could be with. How would your life change?
One of the rewards of kicking porn is having the time to pursue your goals. When you’re no longer thinking about your next “fix” you have the opportunity to get ahead in life by pursuing your dreams. Your time, talents and money will no longer be wasted. You will have time and energy to enjoy hobbies, friendships and family.
You are 100% responsible for your life. Wherever you are today is because of the choices you’ve made in the past. The good news is once you have the opportunity to change your future by making better choices today!The following are choices for fearless living.
1. Imagine what your life would look like without porn. What would you do with your time? Who would you spend it with and what would you be doing. How would your life change? What would it look like?
2. Expect to do it. Get rid of doubts. What you expect you get. If you expect to succeed you will. If you expect to fail you will. Remind yourself you deserve a good life. You deserve real loving relationships and everything that goes with them.
3. Let go of your fear. Fear is negative thinking. It spreads like a deadly virus. Negative thinking and thoughts of your next porn fix block your miracle. Have hope and replace fear and thoughts of using pornography with positive memories about your friends, good times or music.
4. Become open to the new life ahead of you. We often think we need to know exactly what our future will look like. That’s controlling and impossible. When you make a decision to quit others will be put on your path in life to help you move forward! It will seem magical.
5. Imagine the new you. Do you want more enthusiasm, self-confidence and less guilt and shame? Then see yourself that way. Fake it until you make it. You deserve the best in spite of your past.
6. Don’t talk about doubts, fears or limits to others. Only talk about your desire, strength and commitment. What you focus on expands. Talk about your success.
8. Pray. It works. Pray for yourself. Pray for others. Pray for your enemies. Pray for the porn industry, pornographers and porn stars. Feel compassion and love for yourself and others.
9. Don’t expect perfection. If you mess up get back on the right track immediately.
Relapsing is part of the process. Refuse to condemn yourself. Don’t use it as an excuse to quit. No one is perfect.
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